Dust in the wind
by Twilight's-Mystery
Summary: A short little fic about Harry on Halloween night...he finally admits he's hurting. Please RR with comments.. luv to hear from ya


Dust in the wind..  
  
By: Kathy M Kidman (Ms. Prongs)  
  
Disclaimer: No own characters in fic, no own song.. got it?  
  
AN: Alright, here's my second song fic I plan on getting out before tonights over.. I seem to take a liking to song fics don't I? *raises an eyebrow* Well, this ones going to be even sadder than Superman, for reasons..*sighs* It's called "Dust in the wind" by Kansas..hopefully you'll know the song..but I doubt it. So just think about it alright? another thing, the part about inevidable fate? its a few lines from a poem my cousin wrote, I just changed it around to fit my story lol.  
  
~*~  
  
Harry sat down by the edge of the lake near Hogwarts, sighing deeply he looked back to the castle and thought about what he had told Ron and Hermione when they invited him the feast. "No, I think i'm going to go for a walk..be back soon i promise..no nothings wrong, I just want to think alright?"but something was wrong, it was Halloween night, the night he lost his parents 15 years ago...  
  
*******************  
  
I close my eyes  
  
Only for a moment, then the momen't gone  
  
*******************  
  
As he stared out over the water he noticed the moons reflection and looked up, it was a full moon, bright and beautiful. It made his eyes blur as he pulled his glasses off to wipe away non-exsistant tears..or was it the moon making him cry?  
  
*"Don't cry my little angel, it'll be alright, daddy just went out on a mission for work, he'll be fine baby.." * he could hear his mother whisper to him as a baby. *"Promise me you won't do anything as dangerous as be an auror like me and your father, I don't think i could that much stress in my life.." *  
  
He could still feel her arms around him, rocking him to sleep that night, it was his birthday night, July 31st, dark, a little chilly for summer and a full moon like it was tonight.  
  
Closing his eyes he could still see her face, sort of, staring at him. Those Emerald eyes that shone with love and affection for him, something he missed dearly in his life. "Mum.." he murmured without realizing it as a pang of sadness hit his chest. "Mum, I miss you.." he said again and fought back tears that were starting to form.  
  
*******************  
  
All my dreams  
  
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity  
  
Dust in the wind  
  
All they are is dust in the wind  
  
*******************  
  
Upon opening his eyes he noticed clouds starting to form in the distance, maybe it would snow, or rain..  
  
How he wished his mother were here, both his parents, here to comfort him, talk to him, hold him. He started to feel regret and a little jealousy, towards all the kids back in the Castle, they all had their parents, all could talk to them, laugh with them.. While his parents, or the the ability to even see them was little more then a shattered dream.  
  
He remembered something else, but couldn't place where it came from very well..it was his mothers voice though..  
  
*"If inevidable fate causes us to part, remember you are always in my heart my dear child, I'll love you till the end.."*  
  
Must have been sometime just before they were killed, he thought bitterly to himself as he layed down on the cool grass and looked up to the sky and saw the full mom gazing back at him in a silent, secretive beauty, many time's he looked at the sky, the stars, the clouds and wondered if somewhere up there his parents were looking down on him as he looked up, and maybe, just maybe they'd look at the same star, and connect for a second.  
  
"Sounds pretty pathetic potter" he said to himself as he sighed, his family was little more than dreams and broken memories.  
  
*******************  
  
Same old song  
  
It's just a drop of water in an endless sea  
  
All we do  
  
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see  
  
Dust in the wind  
  
All we are is dust in the wind, ohh  
  
*******************  
  
A few minutes later, he could feel a few drops on this forehead, ebbing the pain away that would soon be a headache.  
  
Everything he'd done in his life, everything he'd strived for. To keep his brave exterior, not to let Uncle Vernon or Dudley, or Aunt Petunia break his spirit or take away his memories, sometimes it seemed like it was all fading, everything of his parents and past. What little there was with him were being replaced of horrible memories of being hit for talking back, or locked in the cupboard for not answering or accidently "landing on the roof" when trying to hide from Dudley and his gang, or for mentioning his mother and father..or asking questions, and now of Voldemort and being tortured. It was like all his good memories weren't meant to stay with him, like reassurance was something he wasn't supposed to have anymore.  
  
Places when he could remember his father trying to feed him were now just blur's of little scene's, or gone completely. He strived with all his heart to keep his family in his mind but it was failing, and he felt like he was, no matter what he did in the present.  
  
*******************  
  
Now, don't hang on  
  
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky  
  
It slips away  
  
And all your money won't another minute buy  
  
Dust in the wind  
  
All we are is dust in the wind  
  
All we are is dust in the wind  
  
*******************  
  
Tears that he'd been fighting since the end of last year trickled down his face as he became momentarily blind to the rain that was falling heavily around him, he felt numb, not from the cold rain, but from pain, spiritual pain that was just bursting to be felt, and that was being felt.  
  
Getting up he placed his glasses back on and looked over in the water, and through a blotted reflection he saw more than himself staring back at him, but with every drop of rain water, or tear that fell from his face, he could make out more and more of his mother and father in him. He blinked once then looked back down, and for an instant, in the ripples in the water he saw his parents, standing side by side smiling at him sadly, blinking again they were gone. "No, don't go!" he cried and felt instantly stupid..  
  
He'd give anything to be with them again, but they were gone, he'd have to live with that. His parents were nothing more than dust in the wind, and he'd have to learn to accept that.  
  
Something he never expected to happen, happened. He let out a sob, it felt painful, like his heart had just been stabbed again. And he tore off his glasses flinging them to the tree that was near him. Sopping wet he stayed on his knees, unsure of whether the drops falling from his chin were rain, or the warm tears he'd been crying. He couldn't stop crying either.  
  
*******************  
  
Dust in the wind  
  
Everything is dust in the wind  
  
Everything is dust in the wind  
  
The wind  
  
*******************  
  
"Gone..gone.." he murmured through a choked sob, for a second, a brief second he could feel his mothers arms around him..  
  
*"Don't cry Harry, mummy will always be here for you...always.. I promise"*  
  
He perched himself up against the bottom of the tree and pulled his knees to his chest he stopped his crying the best he could as a shiver went down his body and tears continued their treck down his face, and his mussed up hair fell flat against his head and his bangs over his eyes, closing his Emerald eyes he drifted off to sleep not noticing two sillouettes watching him from the window of the Dining hall.  
  
*******************  
  
Dust in the wind  
  
All we are is dust in the wind  
  
The wind..  
  
*******************  
  
~*~  
  
umm? how was that? a little sad? pathetic? funny...I dunno, i'm in a sad mood right now, not sure what you all are going to think..I guess I'm going to dedicate this one to my dog Missy, whom I lost yesterday to cancer, we had to put her down...God I loved her..so like Harry, my memories of her are like dust in the wind.. 


End file.
